The Girl On The Train

Rating: 1 star out of 5

Starring: Parineeti Chopra, Aditi Rao Hydari, Kirti Kulhari

Streaming on: Netflix

The movie is adapted from the 2015 Paula Hawkins’ novel of the same name. The book has been adapted into a movie earlier too, starring Emily Blunt (early warning: watch that one, not this).

Mira Kapoor (Parineeti Chopra) has become an alcoholic after the death of her unborn child in a car accident. As far as she knows, she cannot be a mother again, when all she wanted in life was to be one. On top of this, she is suffering from trauma and has short-term amnesia (a concept explored in Memento and Ghajini). All this puts a strain on her married life and her husband Shekhar (Avinash Tiwary) and she separate. In her previous avatar she was a bad-ass lawyer who wouldn’t cower even in the face of death threats and would see justice done. All that is lost within two years. She travels on the same route everyday in a train (whereto – no idea, she just does) and she spots Nusrat John (Aditi Rao Hydari) having a picture perfect life with her husband, and she lives vicariously through Nusrat. One day she sees Nusrat with another man and is furious at her for ruining her supposedly perfect marriage and seeks her out. Thus ensues the memory lapse where she doesn’t remember what happened, but she is left with bruising all over her. It turns out Nusrat is killed and the police are suspecting Mira. The investigation is led by Dalbir Kaur Bagga (Kirti Kulhari).

There are so many questions.
First, how was it possible to screw up a movie, which has been made only recently? The script is literally in your hands. While the whole internal conflict written in the book is understandably difficult to put into a visual medium, there is already a blue print, just 5 years old.
Second, why did this movie have to be shot in London, with London street names and NRIs who justifiably do not have an Indian accent? It would have been so much more easier to follow and so much less cringy if only they had shot it in India with Indian actors.
Third, given the above two, who thought it a good idea to diverge from the original story? And who thought the new angle was good?
Fourth, what’s with that bruise on Mira’s temple dude? It looked like something straight out of a Ramsay brothers’ movie make-up.

Even though, Dear Reader, you have understood how unwatchable the “movie” is, it bears repeating. If you watch this movie, a demonic presence like in the movie The Ring will possess you and you would want to kill everyone. It will need to be exorcised. There is not even one single thing which can be said in the favour of this, not even cinematography, costumes, lighting, nothing. This movie is the point where sanity goes to die.

PSA – Do Not Watch It

Spoiler: Dalbir Kaur Bagga is the daughter of the man whom Mira put behind bars and she commits the crime to frame Mira.
There. You are welcome.

Rebecca

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

Starring: Lily James, Armie Hammer, Kristin Scott Thomas

Streaming on: Netflix

To watch or not to watch: A movie no one asked for, and makes the 1940 movie look far superior in comparison

It is based on the novel by Dame Daphne du Maurier. It follows the married life of an unnamed protagonist (Lily James) who started out as a lady’s companion, and meets a wealthy widower, Maxim de Winter (Armie Hammer), while on holiday in Monte Carlo. After a short and whirlwind romance, they get married and move to Manderley House in England. There the new Mrs de Winter comes in contact with the memories of the previous Mrs de Winter (Rebecca), who lives on in the minds of the housekeeper, the indomitable Mrs Danvers (Kristin Scott Thomas) and basically everyone who has met Rebecca. To fit the image of the perfect wife, Mrs de Winter tries very hard to emulate Rebecca, but it seems nothing can please her husband, who grows more distant with time. The story closes with a deep secret which has the potential to destroy the life of the married couple, if exposed.

*Sigh* Even without much expectations, the movie disappoints. The performances of the protagonists isn’t spectacular to begin with, and the awful direction makes it worse. The only one worth mentioning is Kristin Scott Thomas, who is every bit as Mrs Danvers as in the book, but unfortunately doesn’t get enough screen time. The director seems to rely on the knowledge of the viewers about the story, so he doesn’t put in much effort. Things do progess (slightly) in act 3, when it differs from the Hitchcock’s adaptation and Ben Wheatley seemed to come alive on the set for the first time. It doesn’t help though, as the whole premise – the extent of the unnatural adoration of Rebecca by Mrs Danvers – is never fully explained or explored. There was ample opporunity to make this movie stand out, as multiple themes of obsession, homosexuality or illegitimacy could have been explained which were a taboo at the time the book and first movie came out.

It is sad to see a lost opportunity in the world of cinema. The story in and of itself is a masterpiece and the failure of the reproduction cannot go to the performances alone. The only thing that stands out, other than Kristin Scott Thomas (who is the only reason the movie got as many stars as it did), is the cinematography, sets and costume design. The direction fails to capture of the set, which seemed to put the location subtle so as not take away from the movie, but without the movie delivering, it fails on another score. Watch the Alfred Hitchcock’s version if possible, or watch it while scrolling through the phone.